Hmm. Well it's Wednesday evening and nothing is really going on around here (as usual.)

So I seem to have fallen back into my usual Houston slump. I've spoken to Molly on the phone twice, and both times I've felt like a huge part of me was finally put back into place... I really miss her. I really miss others too, even those who weren't all that great to me the last month or so of the semester.

I don't know what's going on anymore. I don't know how some people can call you a best friend when they really don't share anything real about their lives with you. It doesn't make any sense to me. I don't know. I don't understand how some people can be so naive about love, about people... just life in general. Maybe I'm just pessimistic about the world, but I feel that I have a decent grasp on what's going on. Who knows. I just don't like being around the fakes much. And the scary part is that I can't tell who's who all the time. Anyway. I'm sure none of that made sense.

I miss John. I can't believe it's almost been a year and a half and we're still just as interested (if not more so) in each other as we were in February of 2003. I get sad hearing from him about various people who are coming to visit him or hanging out with him over a weekend... I don't even know those people, but I'm jealous of them because I doubt any of them realize just how much I would give in order to spend time with him. Sigh.

I wish I could be in Houston, near my family, with John, and have Molly live next door (with some fabulous guy, because she deserves it.) That'd be perfect.

Well, with some cute dogs to play with too.

Later.

So here I am, June 10th. Yes. I'm only days away from starting my summer job... I'm really excited about it :)

I went to Duchesne today to turn in paperwork and look through my supplies box for my class that starts on Monday - I feel so at peace working there. I visited with Sr. Karam and we talked for a while about everything that's gone on since last year :) I really missed having conversations like that with my teachers... it's been a while. I look forward to seeing her and other special ones (like Ms. Epps, who got me into colleges lol) around while I work there.

I've gotten up waaay too early the past couple of days. Needless to say, I'm tired.

I talked to Molly and some of my other girl friends via email the past couple of days. It's so nice to hear about what's going on, especially with Mol. I miss her a lot - and it's doubly bad this time around because she'll be in London during the fall semester. Arg. Oh well. I guess that will just give John and I more time together. We'll see.

I miss him, too. A lot. I was standing outside this evening in my backyard when I noticed the clouds were moving very slowly (yet visibly) in the dusky sky. At that moment I realized that we don't see the same clouds in the sky... I guess in that moment I truly felt the physical distance that's between us right now, and it broke my heart a little. Sigh. 2.5 more months.

That's all for now. :) I'm going to love the time I have here in Houston with my family and those few friends I have here.

Yawn. It's eleven on Thursday night and I'm bored. I just finished two books today and now I'm in despair. But I guess it's good that I finished them because I found it impossible to work on anything important for the past two days. I need to start working on my lesson plan and going and buying materials. Ahh. It'll get done :)

I went out to the Woodlands yesterday - they have created such an adorable outdoor waterway! I was so pleased with it... I can't wait for John to come back to Houston so that I can take him there.

I'm looking forward to my summer job starting. It feels like forever til then, though. Arg. I had planned on temp-ing, but so far I've only gotten one phone call from them, and it was for a position that started that same hour, and I couldn't possibly make it there. Very irritating. Whatever. Something will work out. Hopefully I can work some next week and put something in the bank. I hate not having money coming in... it's rather unnerving.

Jason Mraz - good stuff.

Later.