It's snowing! Well, it's just flurries, but still. It's not even 11 yet this morning but I've already been to one class today. Only two more and then it's officially the weekend. Nice.

I get to go home in six days for Thanksgiving... I only have one more Friday of classes during this semester... this is crazy. Time has seriously flown by. It'll be summer before I realize it; my life will be totally different as I move back home. I'm praying that I'll have a special person to come and visit me over the long break, but I'm not sure how well that's gonna work out. We'll see.

I'll be nineteen soon... it just shocks me how quickly everything is happening and changing. Wow. Anyway.

I'm feeling slightly better about the situation, but I think that's mainly because I've already begun to move on. Yet yesterday I almost ran into him in DeBartolo and thankfully we didn't seem to see each other at the same time so there was no stop to greet each other, but just hearing his voice for a millisecond had the power to throw me off a bit. The fact is that I still love him and I probably will for a long time, if not forever. And maybe one day he'll realize the mistake he's made, but until then I have to find someone else who deserves me and who will care about me the way I need... sigh, I might have already found this person. I'm not sure yet.

It's over. There's not much else to say. It is all out in the open and now we both know where we stand. Unfortunately, as it has always been, it's not in the same place. And for once I've begun to realize that perhaps we aren't as meant for each other as we might have been. And it isn't me who has changed; he's definitely become someone else... someone who doesn't care about me anymore.

I can sit here and say that I hope for a bunch of really horrible things, but I won't. I know who I am and I know that I am a capable person. Though I have trouble seeing it, I know that I am beautiful inside and out, and I just pray that someone realizes that too soon. I won't say sooner or later because I definitely don't want later... later has been said and done. I've waited too long to be happy. He obviously didn't have the decency to tell me that he thought he was over me and that he had moved on... I now realize that it is my turn to move on...

Pray for me. I've never felt so horrible and so disgusted with myself in my life. I can't believe I wasted so many years on this. And I don't know where to start. I really and truly don't.