I have three more nights at home. Wow. I can't believe half of first semester is over. The year will be over before I know it.

My feelings are getting really confused. Really really confused. And the fact that my dreams are being completely weird and repetitive doesn't help matters. Sigh. Sometimes I have to ask myself, who do you love? Sigh. I know exactly who I love.

I think I'm starting to fall into that pit again... that place where I'm so independent that I'm beginning to miss being with someone. My dreams haven't let up with that theme either, and I think that's a part of why I'm dwelling on it so much right now. I don't know... something's up and it can't be good. Last time this happened it damaged me (soph year). I have to be much more careful now... especially when I have someone telling me that they love me no matter if I'm in love with someone else; even if my heart could never be completely his... all he wants is at least a part of it. I couldn't handle that. Sigh. Hopefully that will let up too.

How is it that nothing else changes? Houston is the same, home is the same, family is the same. I am the one who is different. My world, my outlook, my views...they've changed. I'm the same person inside but with different experiences guiding me. My circle of friends is bigger now; and it's scary to think that now I'm starting to trust the judgment of people I didn't know even three months back. Wow.

Later.

Which Disney Princess are you?

So it's been nearly three weeks since I've typed in here and sometimes I feel guilty about that. Not really.

The past few weekends have been more than just plain interesting... I didn't realize how much I actually go out compared to my other friends from back home. It's kinda weird, but I love what I do, so it works.

The first weekend of October was great but bittersweet. I haven't been that close and that happy in a long time and although I'm not even sure what my reasons or intentions were for that weekend, I know that it was probably not the best thing in the world to do because my heart is now even more set on something that I just can't have right now, no matter how much I want it. If only he wanted me, too.

I go home on Friday. I can't believe it's come so incredibly fast, yet so slowly at the same time. I have lost all concept of time here, it seems. But Notre Dame is where I belong... it's like it's unreal in a way. I love my roommate though... we get along so well, and if there's any annoyance it's usually because I'm just not used to having people around all the time, but I love them. I love my section in my dorm... we're getting so close and it's awesome. I cried the other night (Saturday) because of something that had happened and they all surrounded me with hugs... I love them so much...

Well I'm off... later y'all.