So now I realize why the majority of my friends stop writing in journals once they step into college... life. Thing is, this is the time of life where journaling would be of the utmost importance, I would think. But anyway. So yeah. October begins tomorrow. Wow.

So much has gone on in the past few weeks yet nothing has really changed in my life. I don't know, I just feel as if it's been like this forever, and yet it still feels weird... all I know is that I do love it here and I know that I made the right choice in coming to ND.

Just when things seemed to be getting closer to resolving themselves, they fly right back into the stratosphere and out of my reach. I'm so close to just giving up. I think a part of me already has, yet my heart refuses to completely let go of him. Of what I feel. Of what we could have had had she not ever stepped into the way. Bah. And I know that I'm supposed to be content in him being happy, but I'm not. Because he should be with me. Sigh. I don't want to go into this.

Well I suppose I should get going. I have another midterm tomorrow, but hopefully I won't pass out through half of it. Sigh. I'm so going to drop that class if I got a bad grade on that test. Bah.

This weekend blew. Bah. Friday night wasn't as bad, but Saturday night was just so awful, and it shouldn't have been, considering our INCREDIBLE football game earlier that day (which was awesome... I got to rush the field... amazing). Sigh. I just feel as if a certain friendship of mine is being strained and there really isn't anything in my power that I could do to help it right now. So I am going to just wait and let it sit for a while.

I need to focus on me now. I'm tired of waiting on so many other people to be happy so that I can have a little bit of their joy, too. I had a dream about a week ago that was so sweet and wonderful and it made me so sad when I woke up to think that I didn't have that in real life. And the thing is that I can have that now... and I will have that sooner or later (sooner though rather than later).

I'm pretty excited about Mary coming on Saturday... I hope this weekend will be more fun partywise than it was this past weekend.

Well here I go, gearing up for another week. I've decided to set two people on the backburner while I concentrate a little more on myself now. I think I deserve it, don't you?

And for those who didn't know...something's happening at Notre Dame... HERE COME THE IRISH!!!!! :)

The second Monday. The third week of school. And I fall in love with this place a little more everyday...

This weekend was our first home football game and it was the MOST amazing thing in the world... the school has so much spirit and such an awesome atmosphere... it made me so proud to be a part of it all. And we beat Purdue! :)

The weekend parties were so much fun... I can't wait til next weekend for some more. And we have another football game next week too, which rocks... annnnd hopefully Mary will come visit me in the next week or two (preferrably the weekend of the 20th hehe)

Well I should get to class. I need to get more time to write in here. I have stuff to talk about too, which sucks. But anyway. Later :)

So I've been going to classes for a week. It feels like forever, actually. I love it here though... though I am anxious about the snow and winter and all that junk. Hmm...

I've made some awesome friends already. We're already starting to plan our quad next year - insane, eh?

So yeah... the first weekend was fine for the most part... I'm still a bit homesick, but there isn't much that can be done about that except to give it time. Sigh. I guess we'll see. I do love it here though.

Later. I really don't know what to say anymore.